I have about three blogs on the go right now and a Linked In profile. I have a job that keeps me so busy that it completely consumes 75% of my waking hours. My boys are getting older and needing more of my attention instead of less, and they don't get much from their father.
Some big changes are on the horizon for us...
May 20, 2010
Oct 3, 2008
Visitation
My father used to be a big fan of the Toronto Blue Jays. Before he got sick we would sometimes go with him to see them play. When we were in the outdoors and caught a rare sighting of this handsome bird, Dad would quip "There's Kelly Gruber." He owned more of his favourite baseball team's paraphernalia than anyone I'd ever known.
He was diabetic since he was sixteen years old, and by the time he reached sixty his condition had worsened to the point where his organs started failing on him. He fought to stay well as long as possible, and did his best to enjoy life and took great pleasure in my two sons, his only grandchildren at the time. He thought they were the neatest kids in the world. Dad passed away peacefully in his sleep in his 67th year after having deteriorated to a wisp of a man - nothing at all like the fun-loving guy everyone knew.
The boys and I were out golfing the other day. It was threatening to rain, but shortly after we got started the sun came out and the weather turned beautiful. My oldest son was having a difficult time with his game, and was getting very frustrated. He was snapping off at his brother and I out of exasperation, and we were all very tense. When we reached the seventh hole, we had calmed ourselves. I told the boys that their Grandpa would have loved to be with us on the green like this, and I smiled to myself as I envisioned how proud he would have been of them trying to learn what used to be a favourite hobby of his.
Josh's first shot on the 7th hole ended up slicing, but not too far from the green on the other side of a small hill. Not wanting him to get frustrated again I cheerfully told him to just toss his ball over the hill and we wouldn't count it. He took his next shot from about 15 feet away from the hole, and we all watched in amazement as his ball careened straight to the hole, ricocheted off the flagpole, which was hadn't taken out yet, came back and rolled right in! The shot was a complete fluke, and we were all so surprised and delighted by it. I gave Josh a high five.
As we were leaving and proceeding through a wooded area to the 8th hole, a lovely Blue Jay landed on the ground in front of me. He paused for a moment, and then flew up into the trees joining another two or three jays high up in the trees. I felt Dad's presence instantly, and realized that he had helped Josh make that last shot. I felt sad and deeply missing him at that moment. The cruel reality that his life had been cut so short by a disease that wracked his body and deprived him of a full life is something that I have never been able to accept.
The incident demonstrated the glimmer that Dad was at peace and enjoying being able to interact with his grandsons in a way that he never could in the physical world. Still, it would be nice to be able to see him and hear his voice again...even just for a second.
-Photo courtesy of my Flickr friend, Michael
He was diabetic since he was sixteen years old, and by the time he reached sixty his condition had worsened to the point where his organs started failing on him. He fought to stay well as long as possible, and did his best to enjoy life and took great pleasure in my two sons, his only grandchildren at the time. He thought they were the neatest kids in the world. Dad passed away peacefully in his sleep in his 67th year after having deteriorated to a wisp of a man - nothing at all like the fun-loving guy everyone knew.
The boys and I were out golfing the other day. It was threatening to rain, but shortly after we got started the sun came out and the weather turned beautiful. My oldest son was having a difficult time with his game, and was getting very frustrated. He was snapping off at his brother and I out of exasperation, and we were all very tense. When we reached the seventh hole, we had calmed ourselves. I told the boys that their Grandpa would have loved to be with us on the green like this, and I smiled to myself as I envisioned how proud he would have been of them trying to learn what used to be a favourite hobby of his.
Josh's first shot on the 7th hole ended up slicing, but not too far from the green on the other side of a small hill. Not wanting him to get frustrated again I cheerfully told him to just toss his ball over the hill and we wouldn't count it. He took his next shot from about 15 feet away from the hole, and we all watched in amazement as his ball careened straight to the hole, ricocheted off the flagpole, which was hadn't taken out yet, came back and rolled right in! The shot was a complete fluke, and we were all so surprised and delighted by it. I gave Josh a high five.
As we were leaving and proceeding through a wooded area to the 8th hole, a lovely Blue Jay landed on the ground in front of me. He paused for a moment, and then flew up into the trees joining another two or three jays high up in the trees. I felt Dad's presence instantly, and realized that he had helped Josh make that last shot. I felt sad and deeply missing him at that moment. The cruel reality that his life had been cut so short by a disease that wracked his body and deprived him of a full life is something that I have never been able to accept.
The incident demonstrated the glimmer that Dad was at peace and enjoying being able to interact with his grandsons in a way that he never could in the physical world. Still, it would be nice to be able to see him and hear his voice again...even just for a second.
-Photo courtesy of my Flickr friend, Michael
Sep 6, 2008
Just when you think you know someone
So the other day I'm at lunch with a mutual friend I had with a recent ex. She split up with his best friend in what appeared to be a hasty and surprising move just a couple of months after they bought a brand new house together. My ex seemed to think it was a petty reaction on her part to his friend's occasional bouts of hot temper and impulsive nature. I could hear him rolling his eyes when he told me about it during a phone call he made to me one night to cancel our plans because he had to help his friend 'deal' with the situation.
During our lunch conversation my friend asked me what happened to me and my ex. She told me that her boyfriend didn't like me and was very jealous of me, and she had wondered if he secretly had feelings for my ex. She found it interesting that my ex had broken up with me at the same time that everything went down with her and his friend.
It was then that she gave me the shock of my life.
All four of us had gone out for a nice dinner one evening, during which my ex's friend had a sudden and quite random temper tantrum over something so obscure that no one seemed to know why he was exploding in the first place. She explained to me that that was just a tiny taste of what she tolerated from him on a daily basis. They were seeing a counselor to help them with their relationship. It was required that they attend some of the sessions alone instead of as a couple. On a day when she was required to meet the counselor individually, he sat her down and looked her square in the eye. He told her that she needed to do exactly as he said and get out of the house immediately. He instructed her to get as far away from him as she could as soon as she could and as quietly as she could. He told her he wasn't joking. Her life was in danger.
As if it wasn't surprising enough to learn that this man, who seemed nothing more than a lovable buffoon to me, was actually a ticking time bomb, she then tells me something even more terrible. We knew that she had a problem with him falling asleep in his kids' bed when he tucked them in, and felt it was very inappropriate. My ex and I just figured she didn't understand because she didn't have kids of her own. It's not uncommon for a parent to crash at the child's beside out of sheer exhaustion. She then told me that on one occasion she walked into his daughter's bedroom and found him on the bed with her, his daughter was playing with his genitals.
"This is what we do when we're bored," was the explanation the daughter offered her.
I am thanking the Universe, God, Buddha, Ganesh and whoever else is out there that my ex did me the favour of ending our relationship, and thus my connection with this sick freak. I just hope his kids get the help they are desperately going to need.
During our lunch conversation my friend asked me what happened to me and my ex. She told me that her boyfriend didn't like me and was very jealous of me, and she had wondered if he secretly had feelings for my ex. She found it interesting that my ex had broken up with me at the same time that everything went down with her and his friend.
It was then that she gave me the shock of my life.
All four of us had gone out for a nice dinner one evening, during which my ex's friend had a sudden and quite random temper tantrum over something so obscure that no one seemed to know why he was exploding in the first place. She explained to me that that was just a tiny taste of what she tolerated from him on a daily basis. They were seeing a counselor to help them with their relationship. It was required that they attend some of the sessions alone instead of as a couple. On a day when she was required to meet the counselor individually, he sat her down and looked her square in the eye. He told her that she needed to do exactly as he said and get out of the house immediately. He instructed her to get as far away from him as she could as soon as she could and as quietly as she could. He told her he wasn't joking. Her life was in danger.
As if it wasn't surprising enough to learn that this man, who seemed nothing more than a lovable buffoon to me, was actually a ticking time bomb, she then tells me something even more terrible. We knew that she had a problem with him falling asleep in his kids' bed when he tucked them in, and felt it was very inappropriate. My ex and I just figured she didn't understand because she didn't have kids of her own. It's not uncommon for a parent to crash at the child's beside out of sheer exhaustion. She then told me that on one occasion she walked into his daughter's bedroom and found him on the bed with her, his daughter was playing with his genitals.
"This is what we do when we're bored," was the explanation the daughter offered her.
I am thanking the Universe, God, Buddha, Ganesh and whoever else is out there that my ex did me the favour of ending our relationship, and thus my connection with this sick freak. I just hope his kids get the help they are desperately going to need.
Aug 24, 2008
It takes all kinds...
Since becoming enlightened I have found a new level of appreciation and patience for my fellow man. However whenever I witness something happening to someone that upsets their life in such a way that it looks completely hopeless it will ever be turned around, I can't help but take on some of the emotional burden.
Through many difficult life lessons and being fortunate enough to have an open mind to learn from them, I have come to realize that the happiness we have in life is not due to success or from external forces, but just the opposite. If we go through life thinking that we are victims of circumstance and that we have no control over our own happiness, then we are doomed to have nothing more than a life of thoughtless accidents.
As grateful as I am that I don't fall into the above category, I still find myself slipping back into the human habit of getting caught up in the physical world once in awhile. I have to stop feeling as if it is my responsibility to 'fix' everyone so they can also realize for the first time what they are doing to themselves. But some people just aren't able to reach this level of awareness, and it isn't my job to change this. Instead I have to find a way to accept the fact that we are all different and that this is probably a good thing after all.
Through many difficult life lessons and being fortunate enough to have an open mind to learn from them, I have come to realize that the happiness we have in life is not due to success or from external forces, but just the opposite. If we go through life thinking that we are victims of circumstance and that we have no control over our own happiness, then we are doomed to have nothing more than a life of thoughtless accidents.
As grateful as I am that I don't fall into the above category, I still find myself slipping back into the human habit of getting caught up in the physical world once in awhile. I have to stop feeling as if it is my responsibility to 'fix' everyone so they can also realize for the first time what they are doing to themselves. But some people just aren't able to reach this level of awareness, and it isn't my job to change this. Instead I have to find a way to accept the fact that we are all different and that this is probably a good thing after all.
Aug 16, 2008
Seven down...three to go
Breaking news in my HR studies saga....
With my exam written today I can officially put Training & Development behind me and focus fully on Organizational Behaviour, which I have been studying simultaneously since early June, and for which I have another exam on September 13th. On September 10th, the Wednesday before I write the OB exam, I begin Compensation Management. That course is a semester course, as opposed to distance ed, and will be keeping me up very late on Wednesday nights from then until mid-December, when it ends. I'm hoping to enroll in Occupational Health and Safety in November as another monthly intake course, so that I can finish it up by February 2009. This will then leave me three full months to focus on preparing for the National Knowledge Exam (NKE) sitting in early May.
Then I get my life back at last.
You see, they have added another requirement to the CHRP criteria...another hoop you have to jump through...if you want to get your designation. Effective January 2011 anyone who hasn't finished their coursework and passed their exams (the NKE and the National Professional Practice Assessment, or NPPA, which I'll hopefully be taking in October 2009) will not be able to obtain their professional Human Resources designation, which in essence means putting the letters C-H-R-P beside your name, unless they have also obtained a post-secondary degree at a Baccalaureate level at a minimum.
Personally I don't see how Jane Doe, CHRP, B.A. is going to be a better Human Resources Generalist that John Smith, CHRP, but what the hell do I know?
With my exam written today I can officially put Training & Development behind me and focus fully on Organizational Behaviour, which I have been studying simultaneously since early June, and for which I have another exam on September 13th. On September 10th, the Wednesday before I write the OB exam, I begin Compensation Management. That course is a semester course, as opposed to distance ed, and will be keeping me up very late on Wednesday nights from then until mid-December, when it ends. I'm hoping to enroll in Occupational Health and Safety in November as another monthly intake course, so that I can finish it up by February 2009. This will then leave me three full months to focus on preparing for the National Knowledge Exam (NKE) sitting in early May.
Then I get my life back at last.
You see, they have added another requirement to the CHRP criteria...another hoop you have to jump through...if you want to get your designation. Effective January 2011 anyone who hasn't finished their coursework and passed their exams (the NKE and the National Professional Practice Assessment, or NPPA, which I'll hopefully be taking in October 2009) will not be able to obtain their professional Human Resources designation, which in essence means putting the letters C-H-R-P beside your name, unless they have also obtained a post-secondary degree at a Baccalaureate level at a minimum.
Personally I don't see how Jane Doe, CHRP, B.A. is going to be a better Human Resources Generalist that John Smith, CHRP, but what the hell do I know?
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