Why some people are destined to be alone

Ever wondered why someone who is drop dead gorgeous, dynamic, popular, wealthy and seems to have everything going for them is still single? Well wonder no more...

OK. I'm officially out of the closet: I'm an online dater.

I am registered on two sites and have been getting some serious attention. While it's cool having a plethora of potential suitors clamoring for your attention, it can be difficult, if not altogether impossible, to manage them all.

I took myself off the market last year after some disastrous and humourous escapades with some very damaged and confused people. For the full story, follow this link. It was quite a journey. For the record, I was also a little confused myself, and did not have a solid plan as to how I was going to navigate those very choppy waters.

After some deliberation, I am now back online again. I have since learned that to be successful at eDating you have to have plenty of spare time, patience, the discernment of a jury auditor, and a very level head. I've learned that photos only tell half the story, and should not be relied upon as an accurate depiction of an individual who may only be online to have a few cheap kicks.

My experience has taught me that there are many, many creepy characters on these dating sites, and you have to be really careful to separate the wheat from the chaff. The honest, good-natured people are harder to find, but they are there if you just know how to look, and stay objective.

For example, I had a very disturbing experience just last night with a fellow who, at first glance, appeared to be a real catch. He had the looks, an exciting lifestyle, sex appeal, the whole package.

I was reticent to contact him at first, as he was in his forties and had never been married nor had he had any kids. I usually consider this to be a red flag and stay away. However in an effort to be more non-prejudiced, as the good Dr. Phil suggests, I gave him a wink.

He responded immediately and wanted to chat on MSN. He started off the conversation by telling me he was lying naked on his bed and surfing the net on his laptop. I should have ended it right then and there, but instead I went with it to see where it would lead us. This turned out to be a mistake. Things went from naughty to downright depraved, and eventually I had to put him on the spot.

I asked him what it was that he was looking for. He responded that he was looking for what everyone else is looking for - that someone special with whom he can make some plans, and of course with whom he can have amazing sex.

I thought OK, so far we are on the same wavelength.

Then I issued him a dose of reality by telling him that although I have no problem following his lead with this sexy chat stuff, I really wasn't looking for cheap kicks, and that I don't generally tend to jump into bed with someone unless I've been dating them for a couple of months. I have just found in my experience that I tend to get attached to people with whom I get intimate, and it has caused me much grief in the past.

Well he more or less confessed to agreeing that if I wasn't putting out before two months I'm probably not the girl for him. He then went on to say that we weren't likely well-suited anyhow, as I am probably looking for more high end guys, because women are typically shallow.

What you talkin' 'bout Willis???

I reminded the dear fellow that he was talking to a woman, who was a tad offended at his comment, in case that meant anything to him, with an 'LOL' added to lighten the mood a bit. He held fast to his statement, adding other negative generalizations that he had come to believe about women, the fickle, game-playing, non-committal and judgemental nonces that they are.

Wowza.

I gave him the benefit of the doubt, and added that I, too, had similar negative experiences with men in the past, but instead of condemning them all, I choose to believe that there are still some great guys out there. He quickly concurred with this statement, as if to say 'well d'uh'. Apparently there was a double-standard, and drew his attention to it. I commented that it seemed a little chauvanistic.

Oops...big mistake.

This is when he went completely ballistic ("Did you just call me a chauvanist???") and ended the conversation. I wished him good luck, and closed the screen. He squeezed in the last word by congratulating me for being the biggest game player on the internet, and thus proving his point.

I immediately deleted him from my contact list and blocked him. Then I went onto the dating site and deleted/blocked him there too.

He then sent me an email to my Hotmail account that I got this morning after the website informed him I had blocked him. He cursed at me some more and called me a moron saying how I wouldn't have wanted to be with a man who is out of work and living with his parents anyway.

I'm not kidding.

So, it's true: if someone looks too good to be true, they probably are. Some people - sad as it is - are just fated to walk through this life alone and bitter.

I just wish it didn't bother me so much.

B.G. ;)