December 31, 2007. It was New Year's Eve and I was spending it alone and depressed. The man I had been in an exclusive relationship for the past year and a half had blown me off on this special occasion after not having hardly even acknowledged my existence over the Christmas holidays, choosing instead to spend it with his ex-wife and in-laws. I was feeling like a fool, and was very, very sad.
It was supposed to have been a wonderful New Year's this year. He spoke of getting all his friends together at his place and hosting a party. I was going to meet his 'posse' for the first time, and I was so excited about this. Meeting his buddies was just another stepping stone in our relationship, further cementing his commitment to me. At the eleventh hour he ended up deciding against doing the party, citing some watered down reason that didn't make any sense. There were so many of these things he said we would do that never came to fruition: trips to Niagara-on-the-Lake and Jamaica, sailing in Greece. He had me believing that he actually planned on doing these things with me one day in the near future.
About a week into 2008 he dumped me via email after standing me up for a dinner date saying he 'just wanted to be by myself for awhile'. I was so hurt by his cavalier dismissal that I couldn't even muster a reply to his message. I never spoke to or heard from him again.
It was at this juncture in my life when I came upon The Rules. This last relationship catastrophe out of several before it was the final straw for me that put me in that place where I was open to a new dogma and a fresh perspective. I realized I was doing something dreadfully wrong, but as my modus operandi was to be as accommodating, happy and easygoing as possible in my relationships I couldn't for the life of me figure out what could be the matter. I was completely and utterly confused and frustrated.
The Rules book was familiar to me as it had been in publication since 1995, but to be honest I sort of rolled my eyes at it initially thinking it was some kind of radical do-whatever-it-takes-to-get-a-man type piece of writing that you might find in Lonely Woman's Weekly. I assumed it was meant for desperate, conniving, opportunistic women with an agenda.
Boy was I wrong.
I was stunned at how the book seemed to have been written with ME in mind. Every possible mistake a woman could make in her quest to find Mr. Right is listed in this book, and I was both shocked and dismayed to learn that I had made every single one of them...bar none. I read and reread the book until its principles were deeply rooted in my consciousness. After digesting its message I can say with 100% confidence that I would still be in a relationship today had I followed The Rules.
However, the Universe works in interesting ways, and I have no regrets. When all was said and done it took me all of two days to get over him, which only reinforced the gut feelings I had throughout our relationship that it wasn't 'right'. Being so taken with him I wasn't able to see with clear vision, but in the end he revealed his true colours to me. He was devious and dishonest, virtually devoid of character, and had, as my father so eloquently put it, 'a very robust ego' that was so big it was a wonder there was room for me in his life at all. He was not, as it turned out, a good match for me, so he actually did me a favour!
I am no longer resentful of his behaviour and treatment of me. Instead I am grateful to him for bringing me to The Rules, which will eventually lead me to the person with whom I was meant to be all along.
It was supposed to have been a wonderful New Year's this year. He spoke of getting all his friends together at his place and hosting a party. I was going to meet his 'posse' for the first time, and I was so excited about this. Meeting his buddies was just another stepping stone in our relationship, further cementing his commitment to me. At the eleventh hour he ended up deciding against doing the party, citing some watered down reason that didn't make any sense. There were so many of these things he said we would do that never came to fruition: trips to Niagara-on-the-Lake and Jamaica, sailing in Greece. He had me believing that he actually planned on doing these things with me one day in the near future.
About a week into 2008 he dumped me via email after standing me up for a dinner date saying he 'just wanted to be by myself for awhile'. I was so hurt by his cavalier dismissal that I couldn't even muster a reply to his message. I never spoke to or heard from him again.
It was at this juncture in my life when I came upon The Rules. This last relationship catastrophe out of several before it was the final straw for me that put me in that place where I was open to a new dogma and a fresh perspective. I realized I was doing something dreadfully wrong, but as my modus operandi was to be as accommodating, happy and easygoing as possible in my relationships I couldn't for the life of me figure out what could be the matter. I was completely and utterly confused and frustrated.
The Rules book was familiar to me as it had been in publication since 1995, but to be honest I sort of rolled my eyes at it initially thinking it was some kind of radical do-whatever-it-takes-to-get-a-man type piece of writing that you might find in Lonely Woman's Weekly. I assumed it was meant for desperate, conniving, opportunistic women with an agenda.
Boy was I wrong.
I was stunned at how the book seemed to have been written with ME in mind. Every possible mistake a woman could make in her quest to find Mr. Right is listed in this book, and I was both shocked and dismayed to learn that I had made every single one of them...bar none. I read and reread the book until its principles were deeply rooted in my consciousness. After digesting its message I can say with 100% confidence that I would still be in a relationship today had I followed The Rules.
However, the Universe works in interesting ways, and I have no regrets. When all was said and done it took me all of two days to get over him, which only reinforced the gut feelings I had throughout our relationship that it wasn't 'right'. Being so taken with him I wasn't able to see with clear vision, but in the end he revealed his true colours to me. He was devious and dishonest, virtually devoid of character, and had, as my father so eloquently put it, 'a very robust ego' that was so big it was a wonder there was room for me in his life at all. He was not, as it turned out, a good match for me, so he actually did me a favour!
I am no longer resentful of his behaviour and treatment of me. Instead I am grateful to him for bringing me to The Rules, which will eventually lead me to the person with whom I was meant to be all along.
*Creature Unlike Any Other
Photo courtesy Smatterbrains
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